Pha Status Update Labor Day 2011

It’s somehow hard for me to write these days.  I had hoped a three day weekend would bring me a muse, or something.  But here it is Monday and I’m just sitting down with the laptop.  I will admit to a little encouragement because I stumbled across a comment from the Teddy Shapou's grandson's wife on my favorite post from April '09. Like a cook enjoys watching people eat, a writer really enjoys folks reading their words. At least I will get out a status report on Pha for those of you that are interested in how it is going here in Pinehurst.

I put TGP's 1993 autobiography on Facebook yesterday (from this blog in Jan '09).  A little less maudlin than his posting his own obituary pre-emptively last month.  It’s a good read.
I am trying to get himself in front of iMovie to tell some stories.  I don’t think he’s up for writing at this point, but if I can coax at the right time, I think I get get some good recordings.  I’ll post them as soon as they happen if we manage that.  Caroline has a clip he did last Christmas about his sister, Dorcas.  If I can get her to post it, I’ll add a link here.

Pha is surprised when he feels weak.  Even with his heart problems and stroke 6 years ago, he still thinks of himself as never being sick.  We got to church yesterday morning, but that was about all the activity the day could afford.  We try to gauge the energy level and plan outings accordingly. His voice is strained and his balance is a challenge. But he is not in pain, has some appetite and can taste his food. Food not tasting like what it was supposed to was the worst part of the chemo for him. We watch something on Netflix or old home movies most every night after supper and relish whatever stories we get.

Sophia is coming from Charlotte to Pinehurst this weekend, as MA and I sneak back to KY for a quick visit.  We will get her started on a new MS medication, Gilenya, which is exciting in that it comes in a pill form.

The college roommates (Yale '59) will be here the next weekend.  The weekend after that, almost the entire family will be here.  We will only be missing Paul, Max and Lucy.  TGP will be up for those visits, as he was for the recent trip to Kentucky.  Without the additional inspiration, he is a little weaker each day.  It’s to be expected, but that doesn’t make it any easier on any of the four of us.
Mary Anne and I feel blessed to be able to be here and be some help, or at least a distraction.  It’s a small benefit of the 1000+ mile commute that I can spend my weekends wherever seems appropriate.  Pinehurst seems appropriate for the duration.
Muv and Pha have lots of pictures hanging on their walls and I am scanning everything I can.  Many of them have lost their color, or most of their color.  I asked cousin Rich to work on the 6 pictures from Thanksgiving 1970.  None of my generation was married yet and Wright had yet to be born, but it’s as complete a shot of the extended family as I think anyone has.  Below is Pha and his father, Denzil, in December 1940.

I also have some pictures Soph won’t want me to post of the time Muv and Pha inexplicably setup a family portrait for right after she had her wisdom teeth removed.


Hospice has been great.  I keep encouraging people to use that BEFORE they get to the very end of life.  It has relieved us all to know there won’t be fights about extraordinary measures at the end (can you imagine anything more anathema to Pha?) and they have been practical and emotional support, especially for Muv.

Keep those cards and letters coming for the folks that get mail here.  Email and text encouragement for MA and myself are also appreciated.  We may not start a lot of conversations, but we tend to respond.

 I will certainly be regular with updates as we hit any salient points going forward.


Remember:
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.