Wednesday, January 21, 2009

TGP Autobiography 1993

Muv found this somewhere and I read it to the immediate family at the beach last July. I thought it was worth transcribing and sharing. I've been asking TGP to write for the blog and haven't gotten much reaction, so I'm using the writing I have from him. Remember this is almost 15 years old as of today.

Part the First - Where I have been

My parents began their lives at the turn of the century:
  • my mother born first in 1898 as the only child of the union between a hotel/resort wealthy mama and an imperious country farmer turned mathematician/teacher father (whom she worshiped)
  • my father one year later as the second/last child of a German beer-maker descendant (grandmother Addis) and a flashy con-artist alcoholic (who left his posterity nothing except the Hollingsworth name, being a poor side trip down from Valentine Hollingsworth's 1640 arrival in Delaware)

Mother grew up in Mt. Clemens, Michigan, where she:
  1. learned the resort/hotel business,
  2. gained a vast respect for books
  3. was spoiled rotten by her doting father
thereby giving her deep recesses of self-confidence and a literary bent.

Father grew up in St. Louis, Missouri and acquired a smattering of German, a strong aversion to alcohol and a fondness for things mechanical.

They met as undergraduates at the University of Illinois and were soulmates for 48 years. What a bedrock upon which to lay my foundations! Mother brought intelligence, joie de vivre, literacy and interpersonal skills; Father was a Tau Beta Pi and had a Masters in Mechanical Engineering... a genius at that which seized his attention for the moment.

Throughout the 20s and 30s, my family grew to four very quickly (boy, boy, girl, boy) and while Father earned and lost several fortunes in the construction business. Mother wrote and published multiple volumes of poetry and some plays; she learned to go from two cars and several servants to scrubbing the brick sidewalk of our large St. Louis home without losing a beat. I put in an appearance 8 years after number four, in 1937, much to everyone's surprise ("Polly, dammit, you can't be. We can't afford this right now"), apparently having been acquired on a one year trip around the US and Canada in 1936, looking for military contracts to build another dam similar to Father's success at Ft. Peck.

Father struck it rich one more time in 1938 (found a flaw in the Texas Oil Company's mineral rights to the Salem oil pool in Illinois: obtained them for the "cauliflower strip", a road 1/2 mile long and 30 feet wide from which he and some other connivers took so much oil that Texaco bought them out) and so moved his brood to Kentucky in 1939. We bought a Bluegrass horse/tobacco farm 10 miles north of Lexington and set about learning the thoroughbred/sheep/cattle/fighting-banty-rooster business (everyone should grow up on a farm: the value of one dollar an hour wages is very apparent to all that have worked from dawn to dusk). My first real memory, other than those home movie induced, is one of the announcement of WW II and the departure of two older brothers: the eldest to Camp Blanding, Florida, to be a drill instructor for the duration and the second eventually to Europe with Patton's Army. The rest of the group stayed to run the farm and the horses. Father had retired by this time; two heart attacks before age 41, a severed arm in the 30's (implausibly sewed back on ... Mother wouldn't let them take it off as they should have and it worked! Never have understood that) and Graves disease about finished him. He claimed he had been put up on blocks by the war, just as his V-12 Lincoln Continental was. Mother was never phased by anything. She wrote and directed a major musical production in 1943 at the University of Kentucky and I tasted the theater, gaining accolades from which I never recovered. She led the family in Christmas plays written so that all had parts that fit our personalities. I was usually the goody-two-shoes.

Schooling for me began in 1943 at an eight-classes-in-four-rooms school that Mother thought would be good. "To walk with Princes nor lose the common touch" was quoted all the time, but sounded too fancy for my taste. It was close and I got to ride my bike the 1 1/2 miles each way. There I learned the 3 R's, a rigid meritocracy in which one had to earn the right to play in recess games and a rural approach to sexual education. We were all sexperts by second grade, seeing it practiced every day outside the school by various and sundry animals. Since Mother was the volunteer drama coach, I played the lead in several dramatic operettas.... even though lacking the requisite vocal talent. By the seventh grade, the total lack of social graces caused some concern, so I was sent to a private school in Lexington and discovered that money and privilege covered a multitude of ineptitudes. Quickly, back to my country place for the eight and final year of rural education and then on to a small semi-private "model" high school in Lexington: still possible before the consolidation of districts in the early 50's.

High school is a pivotal experience for most; mine was a pleasant four years with 28 people in the class, and inordinate number of whom would end up in relatively fancy institutions of higher learning. I began to learn about girls instead of cows, boys instead of horses/tobacco, and discovered I had modest skills in a number of areas but was outstanding in none. The choice of becoming a Renaissance Man or a Dilettante struck me. I played several sports, but could "start" only in swimming; I was in plays, in the band, the glee club and eventually was Valedictorian, the only area in which I actually emerged as a winner. I had a remarkably untrammeled child & young adult-hood. I was a fairly strong-willed, somewhat spoiled youth to whom opportunity had come as a genetic and cultural gift, unfought-for. It was now 1955: all my siblings were married and had appropriately multiplied..... I was known as "Uncle Vert" to at least 15 nephews and nieces. My kind and wise brother-in-law touted me on a trip east to school and I became the first of the clan to venture outside the state. I arrived in New Haven, Connecticut on a train and was greener than the grass on the Commons.
Four years later, I could write, think a little, knew my way around New York City and had been accepted to several medical schools. I carried music (I was in the Glee Club and the Band) and theater with me, but majored in American Studies and have loved history, education and teaching ever since. (Didn't give a fig about managing anything until about three years ago).

I met the love of my life in a Lexington summer production of "Carousel" and we were married in 1960, after one year (the worst) of medical school in Cincinnati.
The draft was still with us, so I joined a Navy scholarship program that paid nothing, but let me pick when I would enter upon active duty. Two children, one MD degree and a hellacious year at Receiving Hospital (Detroit's answer to Bellevue) later, the four of us were in Camp Pendleton, California for the most relaxed time of our lives. My wife is an accomplished musician and we were active in singing and church work out there until April of 1965 when Viet Nam began in earnest. By a miracle of uncertain origin, I was taken off the ship on two occasions and not allowed to go to Chu Lai or Saigon (both of which subsequently had Naval Hospitals with several of our friends in them soon thereafter).


We left Naval service and California in 1966, returning to Georgetown, Kentucky to join my closest friend from high school and an older established physician in the general practice of medicine. This would later become Family Practice as we shifted with the times and learned to treat things beside diseases. This was the growth time in our life cycle: family, work, responsibilities..... they all grew. I began to experiment with teaching at the Medical School a few miles down the road in Lexington.

Having found a true California baby in 1966, we had our last in 1968 and upon the latter's entry into kindergarten 5 years later, my wife returned to teaching music. Drama slipped for a little while as the time constraints of a 72 hour work week for me, and 80 hour work week for Alice (full time classroom teacher, church organist/choir director at two churches and +/- 20 voice or piano students!) made for a hectic 14 years.

We grew in the community, added to our home, made lots of friends and worked like crazy. Some 200 deliveries, medical student precepting and sundry medical procedures later (I was a "skin and its contents doctor") there had to be other things to do. Et voila! .............. the Navy casually sent me a recruiting letter.

Part the Second - Where I am Now

It was January of 1980. I began dreaming of three things: teaching, travel and time off (my three T's). We had a family conference with Alice and the three still at home, (#1 was a freshman at Yale by now, so we all decided his vote didn't count). #2 was a Junior in High School (JIHS) and the thought of moving for her last year (to Charleston, South Carolina, the duty station I had been offered) was anathema: one against. #2 was 14 and quickly figured out that he would be 15 in March, a full three months before he could get to South Carolina and take the driver's test that would let him drive a FULL YEAR before Kentucky would allow it: one for. #4 was finishing the sixth grade and figured she was going to a new school anyhow... and fourth children will do anything to avoid a fuss: one neutral/for. Alice looked at me and said, "Whatever you want is OK with me".. not a resounding for, but I counted it.

We sold the practice to my remaining three partners, sold the house (finally, in 1982!) cried with the folks on the staff at the little hospital and wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper to explain why I was taking no new pregnant patients. (I managed to deliver the last one while my wife oversaw the packout....smooth move). We arrived in hot, humid Charleston on 30 June 1980 and a new career/life began for all of us. The three T's and more!

I began the full time teaching required of a Graduate Medical Education (GME); to take young physicians, just out of medical school and convert them into knowledgeable specialists in Family Medicine in three short years. My wife taught in the SC school system and was selected as Teacher of the Year by 1983. I was learning and, having more field experience than the other faculty, became Assistant Head of the department. I spent some time at sea with the Saudi Navy (got a Navy Commendation Medal for teaching them how to use condoms without letting their Admiral know such were needed; adultery is an offense requiring removal of the offending "member".......my wife calls it my rubber medal to this day). By this time # 3 was a JIHS so the Navy naturally picked 1983 to send me to Pensacola, Florida to become head of that residency program. I joined the Faculty of Uniformed Services University of the Health Sciences (USUHS), in Bethesda, Maryland at that time, since they sent medical students to us for training. BY 1986, #4 had been graduated from high school, so we moved to Washington to work in medical school academia on a full time basis. There followed two pleasant years as an Associate Professor of Clinical Family Practice, while Alice taught music to angels of the (North) Chevy Chase Elementary.

I became involved in Health Care Planning while in DC and, as the Surgeon General's Advisor for Family Practice, began to visualize changes needed in the organization/delivery of medical care to DOD beneficiaries. That led to several cross-specialty committees and before I knew it, Rota, Spain and Newport, Rhode Island had been selected as Family Practice Demonstration Project hospitals. The idea was to demonstrate the cost effectiveness/customer satisfaction achievable by introducing into the socialized system of Navy Medicine, the concept of continuity of care from a broadly trained specialist who would provide 85% of all care to a command/ship/finite number of families. The first hospital staffed with resources sufficient to the task was Rota; I went there as Medical Director in 1988 and became the Executive Officer in 1989, as we moved into a new facility.

What a gorgeous opportunity it is to live in another culture. To learn new values and an appreciation of one's own is enriching. My wife and I were visited by 3 of our offspring, various college and work related friends; we toured most of Europe and a little bit of Africa; she led the base chapel in song, the base choir in two huge fests and provided music for three theatre productions; I played parts in four plays and was the "face of the base", since I was always on TV explaining health care. I began pursuing the Masters in Management in earnest while there (via Salve's GIS program), having earlier completed the Naval War College curriculum by seminar. As Operation Desert Shield became Storm, I was suddenly ordered back to Newport as Commanding Officer of the local Naval Hospital; one that is undergoing a dramatic set of paradigm shifts. We are embarking on the Navy's first ever use of a civilian facility for our in-patients, while our doctors will be supplying the care. The out-patient portion of care will be rendered in a new facility by a large group of Family Physicians with lots of available consultants. Lots of challenges, lots of opportunities. Thus far, I have been challenged by no major setbacks/disappointments; I have been rewarded by not yet having reached my own private Peter Principle.

Part the Third - Where I am Going

This actually represents my first serious look at the future, at least as it affects my wife and me. As an ENFP (a Myers-Briggs classification that describes one who does not tolerate repetition or sameness for very long), I doubt that the challenges of my current position will hold sway for long. After the political and organizational complexities are ironed out and the mission becomes one of keeping a straight course, I will tire of it and request a change. The Naval Hospital in Charleston holds allure; nearby grandchildren, a residency training program, a large facility (250 beds) and a community with which we are both familiar and comfortable. After that, I have flatly refused to plan.....if flag rank is a possibility (and there is nothing more uncertain than that!), the thereafter will be taken care of by higher challenges. If not, I shall gladly serve out the requisite time to register my twenty years of active duty in whatever capacity the Navy wishes. There are not bad jobs, just bad attitudes (rather like the theater: "No small parts, only small players"). Therein lies my small secret of success....... I have enjoyed everything I have done and have had no major lasting disappointments. Each step along life's path has had a delightful form of recompense, not the least of which has been a wonderful marriage, a super set of offspring and a rewarding career.

In any event, in July of 1998 (at age 61) I intend to hang up my ancient stethoscope/Cross pen and embark on a set of world travels that will include exotic destinations, grandchildren, reading, music, theater and raconteur-ing. I intend to enjoy the trip through the rest of my life; the destination and the stops along the way no longer hold much in the way of fear or trepidation. I rather look forward to each day's challenges as the stimuli that will keep the blood flowing smoothly.

My epitaph? Simple:
You only live once,
but if you work it right,
once is enough.


As he says, it's great to be well brought up. Understanding the heritage helps us understand the present. Since this was written, he went to San Diego, then retirement from the Navy and several years in Pinehurst, where he and Muv still reside. He is now nine-toed, one-eyed stroke man, living and loving life.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Sparky's first real haircut

They have both gotten pretty hairy. Sparky reminded us of the Abominable Snowman.

The furry one from a side view:

Then they spent today at the groomer:


Don't they look great?

Saturday, December 13, 2008

If you give a mouse a cookie

TGP grew up in the Hollys, when Grandfather Denzil moved the family to Kentucky in the 30s.


Just to the left of the front entrance is the library, pictured below. Long before my time, it held a beautiful partner desk, where Denzil and Polly worked together.


In 1986, I brought the desk to Charleston. It then spent some time in the upstairs of Orangeburg, but finally made it to the den of our house in Atlanta. See Caroline using it below.

As decorating progressed, the desk ended up in the basement. Teddy had eaten some if it, and time had not been kind.

For our upcoming 25th anniversary, we decided to get the desk restored. Here it is on its way back into the house:




We're working on some wonderful decorating around this piece. Think of the desk as the cookie and Mary Anne as the mouse.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Sparky has his operation

He's certainly not convinced it was a good idea, but Sparky was neutered today. He's pretty pitiful now, but should be felling better in a couple of days.

Monday, November 24, 2008

The Elkhorn Creek

It has been way too long since I've written. By way of excuse, we've been traveling a good bit. But I've missed it and hope to do better. There are lots of ideas in the future blog entry hopper.

Looking at where we grew up, this one is hard to believe. I've also hesitated a little about this entry because I'm not sure how to make it funny. In the end, however, getting the story out is more important to me than provoking laughter.

Check out the dam in our back yard; it was about a 10 foot drop down.
There are a lot of dams on the Elkhorn. Chuck Ellis and I canoed from our house to Frankfort as a high school senior project; we had to portage around the places where the creek drops. The dam in our back yard was also why the creek was deep upstream. That let us have the tire swing - see Kim the delightful child story. There will be a story in the future about another bridge over the creek and certainly more about jumping into the creek from the tire swing.
Every two or three years, the creek would flood. It happened a little more often than it froze in winter. That's part of why the dance hall in the flat back yard was elevated. See the snack bar as it still stood in 1980.

When I'm talking flood, I'm talking about water sometimes up as high as the white boards you see on the snack bar across that very wide area.

Just like we got the pool table because Uncle Hall needed it out of his basement for a while, we got a canoe through some special deal with a local man whose name escapes me that did a lot of canoeing. We enjoyed it during regular creek elevations and even took it on the aforementioned senior project.

Let me digress a bit. As I have aged, I have been white water rafting several times. I have pictures of going in 1984 with MA, then with
Eleanor (2003)

and Caroline (2006).


Note that both my girls seemed to enjoy it considerably more than my wife. When herself and I went with our Sunday School class from Peachtree Pres, she was thinking only of the social aspects. She was a wonderful new bride. It came as quite a surprise that there was actual water and even danger involved. On the trip on the bus upstream, after the guide said when you fall out, MA thought she was going to die. Despite our financial situation, she told me that if she survived, I would have to go to Needless Markup and buy her a dress. It's a pretty floral and she wore it holding Eleanor.

Here is Eleanor in that self-same dress some 18 years later.

Back to the main story. T
he most interesting and inexplicable use of the canoe was one heavily flooded afternoon in the spring of 1978 (my junior year in high school). TGP decided that we should run the dam when the water was so high that there was no dam. I'm very sorry (for me as much as for you) that I don't have a picture of a flood, but picture the water pretty much flat where you would expect the 10 foot drop. Actually, it wasn't flat, but had a 3 foot drop followed by a 3 foot rise. The general water level was flat from above the dam to below the dam. We put in a few hundred yard upstream, near my cousin Bryan's cabin. I was up front, wearing the life jacket and paddling like hell (think back to the whitewater pictures above). When we hit the dam, the canoe when down the 3 feet, and the angle of the canoe never recovered. When we came up, we were almost at the bridge from which this picture was taken, to give you a sense of the distance.
Somehow, we pulled the canoe over to the side and got out. We walked all the way back over the bridge and back up to the house, coughing, sputtering and laughing the whole way up. I can't imagine how Muv felt watching that adventure.

The canoe made it to Charleston when we moved, but wasn't used in the harbor where the Ashley and the Cooper meet to form the Atlantic. I think TGP ended up giving it away to someone else in the Navy.

I guess this goes in the "Gee, it's great that we survived our childhood" category. In fact, it is a great story because it makes me smile. I wouldn't do that with my girls, but it is fun to remember.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Herman the Wonder Chicken

I'm not sure what inspired me to want to take Herman (a cement chicken) with me to New Haven for Freshman year at Yale. I actually wasn't brave enough to do it first thing in the fall, but I decided clearly enough that I wanted him that brother Dunn had to carry him through Laguardia Airport in the fall of 83. Good thing that was before the security they have in airports today, because I am sure Herman would not have made it through the carry ons.

This was the trip where upon arrival at the Old Campus, my whole family was looking for me (don't know why TGP didn't know where Phelps Hall was). They ran into Tom Fahsbender (I would love to contact him any yalies that know where he is let me know), fellow freshman, who happened to be in Calhoun College and knew me. Therefore, when TGP said "Do you know Eben Hollingsworth?", Tom was able to answer "You can't be his family, you all have shoes on". (As per the newspaper picture from 1979, I frequently did not wear shoes, even in that northern clime).


What does one do at Yale with a watch chicken, you may ask. We used him as a door stop and decoration, and the roomies were surprising tolerant (probably just thinking this was a southern thing) for all four years. I still don't know what Lo-Babe was doing with the towel in the picture.


Kim told me later on that he and sister Sophia actually lifted that cement chicken from a friend's lawn in Georgetown one night. I didn't know how it first appeared at Millstream but never thought to ask for years.

The saddest part of the Herman story is that I did not send him home after graduation. Herself claims now that she wanted to keep Herman and I refused to bring him home. I don't remember it that way, but then again, it's been over 25 years. I guess I didn't really see a concrete chicken as part of our married decorating scheme, so Herman stayed in the squash court storage in the basement of Calhoun College in May 1983. Hopefully, some underclassman put him to work the next fall. MA thinks someone probably threw him off of the balcony pictured here in the fall of 1983.

Surprisingly, years later, she wanted some homage to Herman. The chicken we bought in Pinehurst seems a pale comparison.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Gasoline

We had a small scale gasoline crisis in the ATL a couple of weeks back. After supper one night two weeks ago, we loaded up the dogs and the four of us spent 30 minutes in line at the local Shell station so we could get filled up. If you looked at the national gas price map, you would have seen that Atlanta was the darkest kind of red. The price has dropped a dollar a gallon since then, but everyone is still of a mind to make sure every drop counts.

I was listening to Click and Clack on NPR in August, and they got a call from a woman who lifted up the gas hose to empty the last few drops into her tank after she shut off the fuel pump. As you would expect, Tom and Ray mocked her severely. She was even forced to admit that her 16 year old son refused to follow her lead and raise the hose. Upon further inquiry, the Magliozzi brothers found out that her father had taught her the trick about lifting the gas hose.

I learned a lot about driving from TGP. He did a lot of random honking of the horn to keep rabbits out of the road. When queried as to the efficacy of that, the answer was always "You don't see any rabbits, do you?". There was also his axiom that once cruise control was set, it should never be broken. Muv's sucking in air through her teeth was not enough to provoke a slow down, whether for an off-ramp that really shouldn't be taken at 55 or a driver ahead of us that didn't understand his car needed to move back to the right lane.

The most lasting lesson Pha taught was that you should shake your car after the gas pump turns itself off so that the gas settles in the tank, making more room so you can top off the tank. You have to grab the car high on the back side and push and pull to rock it back and forth. It was probably an interesting sensation for those still in the vehicle. I persisted for years even over the protests of herself and wonderment of both girls. It was only when Helen and Jenny went on a long trip with MA and she told them stories about me that the teasing became too much to overcome and I had to stop. Not that I ever really got that much more gas in the car after shaking it, but it was a habit. Even so, I was able to stop cold turkey, and don't even do it on the sly when I am alone filling the car.

I really didn't get back at Helen until I showed her Scout's AKC registration. Our Welsh Terrier's official name is Helen Scout Poole.


In the end, watch your habits, because you never know which ones your children are going to pick up. At least teach them some good ones.