Downtown New Haven Good Time and Happy Fellows Club

TGP arrived in New Haven in the fall of 1955.  As a freshman on the Old Campus, he met Rocko and Bob because they were in his entryway.  Paul was in three of his classes because the pre-meds were together in alphabetic order.
There were eight of them sophomore year, but for junior and senior year, they were six strong.  They called themselves the Downtown New Haven Good Times and Happy Fellows Club.  Apparently, they frequently led off dinner in Calhoun College by blowing the curtain rod that they turned into a horn (and later engraved with DNHGTHFC).  Toot de de toot do toot. TGP stood behind the tall guys, Ted and Paul.  They are pictured below in all of their glory, with the brass horn across their laps.

Paul (Killer) Killenburg

Horace (Rocko) Montague

Clyde Jones

D Vertrees (Holly) Hollingsworth  (I refer to him as TGP)

Ted Calhoun

Bob Laird

Pha was, of course, the "exalted blower".
Clyde was the "Immortal water closet"
Rocko was the "Imperial Banger of the Board"
There were other names, but himself can't really recall them at this point.

There were ample other adventures.  Rocko and TGP were discussing just this past weekend  who first met Louie, the white lab rat.  Rocko thought that Killer put it on TGP's desk.  TGP is confident that it was Laird's desk, because Laird was a serious studier.  Killer had "borrowed" Louie from the chem lab.  Whoever met him first, Louie became a staple for the DNHGTHFC.  Louie lived in the player piano in the living room of the suite.  Louie liked it there because it was warm, but objected strenuously whenever anyone actually played the piano.  Louie also tended to participate in the poker games that were a regular staple of the suite.
The roomies have made a nice habit, especially over the last 30 or so years, of spending some time together.  Here they are in 1982, while the first of their progeny (?could that be me?) was in New Haven.  I shared Calhoun with Killer's boy, Chris, starting my junior year.  Note the bananas are now overripe.

Jones, Laird, Killenburg, Montague, Hollingworth

There is a VHS of the 35th reunion that I hope to get converted and posted.  TGP does a lot of the talking for the class of '59.  On an interesting side note, in Pinehurst, if a VHS tape goes bad, you have to go to the porno store to get it fixed.  But, we will post what we can from that VHS tape when we can.

Fast forward to 2011.  Killenburg died suddenly last year.  Laird and Rocko made it to Pinehurst on Thursday for a last visit with TGP.  The club now includes wives, since it is hard to get everyone together.

Lifelong friendships are a precious thing.


In recalling all of this, Pha says "We thought we were the cat's pajamas".  I suspect they really were.

TGP Speaks

He's not Garbo, but I've got three good stories.


Jumping in the tobacco barn  (recorded 9/2011)

Aunt Dorcus' nose (recorded 12/2010)

The hardest day in private Practice (recorded 12/2010)

Our hole in the ground by the creek

MA & I had a quick trip back to Kentucky last weekend.  We got to see the progress on Millstream 2.0.  A picture being worth a thousand words, I won't bother with any more description than is necessary.


First, if you missed it earlier, is the final demolition of Millstream 1.0

The view from the front.  I hope to have a series from standing right here over the next few months.

The view from just outside the garage, then the view up from the creekbank toward the house (straight on and then a little left), then turning around to see the creek up close.

 The hole in the ground which will be the foundation.

I think it is telling that I picked the picture of me swinging on the creek when I started this blog a few years ago.  I'm looking forward to moving back home.

Pha Status Update Labor Day 2011

It’s somehow hard for me to write these days.  I had hoped a three day weekend would bring me a muse, or something.  But here it is Monday and I’m just sitting down with the laptop.  I will admit to a little encouragement because I stumbled across a comment from the Teddy Shapou's grandson's wife on my favorite post from April '09. Like a cook enjoys watching people eat, a writer really enjoys folks reading their words. At least I will get out a status report on Pha for those of you that are interested in how it is going here in Pinehurst.

I put TGP's 1993 autobiography on Facebook yesterday (from this blog in Jan '09).  A little less maudlin than his posting his own obituary pre-emptively last month.  It’s a good read.
I am trying to get himself in front of iMovie to tell some stories.  I don’t think he’s up for writing at this point, but if I can coax at the right time, I think I get get some good recordings.  I’ll post them as soon as they happen if we manage that.  Caroline has a clip he did last Christmas about his sister, Dorcas.  If I can get her to post it, I’ll add a link here.

Pha is surprised when he feels weak.  Even with his heart problems and stroke 6 years ago, he still thinks of himself as never being sick.  We got to church yesterday morning, but that was about all the activity the day could afford.  We try to gauge the energy level and plan outings accordingly. His voice is strained and his balance is a challenge. But he is not in pain, has some appetite and can taste his food. Food not tasting like what it was supposed to was the worst part of the chemo for him. We watch something on Netflix or old home movies most every night after supper and relish whatever stories we get.

Sophia is coming from Charlotte to Pinehurst this weekend, as MA and I sneak back to KY for a quick visit.  We will get her started on a new MS medication, Gilenya, which is exciting in that it comes in a pill form.

The college roommates (Yale '59) will be here the next weekend.  The weekend after that, almost the entire family will be here.  We will only be missing Paul, Max and Lucy.  TGP will be up for those visits, as he was for the recent trip to Kentucky.  Without the additional inspiration, he is a little weaker each day.  It’s to be expected, but that doesn’t make it any easier on any of the four of us.
Mary Anne and I feel blessed to be able to be here and be some help, or at least a distraction.  It’s a small benefit of the 1000+ mile commute that I can spend my weekends wherever seems appropriate.  Pinehurst seems appropriate for the duration.
Muv and Pha have lots of pictures hanging on their walls and I am scanning everything I can.  Many of them have lost their color, or most of their color.  I asked cousin Rich to work on the 6 pictures from Thanksgiving 1970.  None of my generation was married yet and Wright had yet to be born, but it’s as complete a shot of the extended family as I think anyone has.  Below is Pha and his father, Denzil, in December 1940.

I also have some pictures Soph won’t want me to post of the time Muv and Pha inexplicably setup a family portrait for right after she had her wisdom teeth removed.


Hospice has been great.  I keep encouraging people to use that BEFORE they get to the very end of life.  It has relieved us all to know there won’t be fights about extraordinary measures at the end (can you imagine anything more anathema to Pha?) and they have been practical and emotional support, especially for Muv.

Keep those cards and letters coming for the folks that get mail here.  Email and text encouragement for MA and myself are also appreciated.  We may not start a lot of conversations, but we tend to respond.

 I will certainly be regular with updates as we hit any salient points going forward.


Remember:
You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

LI Annos

August 15^th, 1960.  51 one years (LI Annos in Latin) ago today, Muv & Pha got married in Cadiz, KY.  As they celebrate their last anniversary, it’s easy to see that there is no way for this couple to ever have enough time together.

See below his Anniversary present to her.  The inscription is hard to read in the picture, but I typed it below.  Pha had the tray made during the Lexington visit last week and I smuggled it back to Pinehurst.  He gave it to Muv yesterday (even though they are big on doing things the day of) because she gave him a tie with horses on a Carousel that he was wearing for church Sunday morning.  They met during a UK production of Carousel, must have been summer of 58.

LI Annos

We made beautiful things together

We travelled the world

What a joy, Amen

Children, music, laughter and theater

There are lots of tears around the house, but there is also grace in having enough time to say goodbye.  Just as The Great Pha taught us how to live, he is teaching us how to die.

Mary Anne is in Pinehurst, at least for the next three weeks.  I’m flying in and out to Denver, but will be around as much as I can.

Given that the last dose of chemotherapy seemed to give Pha enough strength for the farewell tour to KY, he’s scheduled himself for another round of chemo this week.  He’s always been very good about measuring cost (both to us the taxpayer and to his comfort) versus the benefit of any therapy.  Apparently, it feels like another round of the nasty drugs is worth it.

I’ll try to write as emotions and time allow.  We welcome prayers for Pha and Muv and the whole family.

The shot below is from Soph's in Charlotte as they drove up to KY last week.

A day in the Life

Alice and Vert

Eben in utero

Spent all day with TGP and Muv in Pinehurst today.  Caroline has been here also.

We had bacon and cinnamon rolls for breakfast - the best morning meal in 51 years according to himself.  Once you're off the Zetia and not really tracking the cholesterol, menu choices can become more interesting.

We spent time together on the computer, so I know my way around things.  We spend a lot of time with old videos.  A little more recorded local news coverage than I might have chosen if I were the editor, but intermingled with some great film of Pha and his three brothers and his sister.  Also some 1991 shots of the cutest 2 & 5 year old girls you could ever hope to see.

Replaced oven range vent filters & cleared a bathroom sink.  There is a hinge that was out of stock at Lowes that will fix a kitchen cabinet; that will wait for the next trip.

All in all, I can't image how I could have spent the day any better.

TGP goes into hospice

Himself in 1959

My father, Vertrees Hollingsworth, was admitted to hospice today.  He was diagnosed with prostate cancer over a year ago and it has recently metastasized to the lungs.  Sophia, Dunn and Piel were with him over the weekend.  Caroline will be there later this week.  TPG & Alice hope to make it to Lexington in early August.   Mary Anne and Eleanor and I will visit in NC later in August.  

He's not in pain and, as always, has a great attitude.  I'm glad we can start hospice early enough for it to be a real help.  His oncologist is the Medical Director of the agency seeing him.  I've dealt with hospice professionally for a couple of decades and it is a tremendous service.

We welcome prayers from all those who know himself or any of the rest of us in the family.  It hasn't been an easy year+